Heartbroken.

Hey everyone,

I want to make this blog post as quick and to the point as possible. You may have seen on my twitter that Phil and I have received some bad news a couple of days ago; firstly, thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to tweet us and wish us well and just take the time out of their lives to ask how we are doing etc because it does mean a lot. And secondly, I want to answer some quick questions; no we are not getting divorced, Daisy is completely fine, we are not moving home from where we have just moved in to, I still have my sponsorship and everything in "relationship" or "home" side of things is all great.

We have said over and over again on social media that this is our year - we are going to have children this year. I've talked about it briefly before that Phil and I lost our baby girl on Christmas Day of 2013 when I was 17 weeks pregnant and that was one of the hardest things that we have ever gone through, both as a couple and personally.

When we decided that we were going to try and have another baby, I wanted to make sure that my body was ready so over the past couple of months I've been having tests and scans to make sure everything is all okay and we didn't want to state anything on social media yet as we wanted to tell our families and let the news sink in for people. I had a DEXA scan a few months back and after receiving the results it's showed that my osteoporosis has travelled to my lower back and my left hip. Which means that my body cannot take the weight of a baby any-more as once the baby reaches a certain weight my back would snap and I would be paralysed for life. So this means now that Phil and I can no longer have a baby of our own.

We are heartbroken about this. There is nothing the doctors can do to build up my bones so I could carry another baby, but I am going to be put on treatment to stop my bones getting any worse than they already are. My osteoporosis was caused by taking Prednisolone tablets so I want to urge anyone at all who is taking them to make sure they are taking calcium tablets twice every single day so this does not happy to you too.

I am also doing my usual Friday 1pm (GMT time) #LTBLOGGERS chat this Friday where the topic is "Mothers Day". Please bear with me and understand if I don't seem like my happy joyful self when doing this chat as under the circumstances it is going to be really hard for both Phil and me.

We are going to have down days, and we are going to have days where we just don't really want to talk to anyone on social media or anything like that so please be patient as we will reply to everyone eventually.

Thank you again to everyone who has given us some support right now.

With love, Alisha Valerie. x

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